In Between the Sinner's Prayer Gospel and the Gospel of Guilt

In Christian circles, the term "gospel" is often thrown around as if it has some sort of self-evident meaning. It doesn't, and as far as I know the term isn't found in the Bible much. The literal meaning is "the good news," which most of us can figure is at least a complex pursuit. If I weren't a Christian and I read the Bible objectively, about the last conclusion in the world that I would draw is that the Bible was free of contradictions. Even if we read the Bible as an anthology that spans several genres of literature over thousands of years instead of a "how-to" manual, we at least must acknowledge that the book possesses tons of tension.

But for the dozens of churches I have attended throughout my life and the hundreds of denominations that exist, I'm beginning to notice one big divide. I'll have to generalize here (which means yes, there will be exceptions to my observations), but I'd be surprised if your experience does not fit somewhere my analysis.

The first category of church I will discuss is the type I grew up in. The gospel for these churches seems to indicate that if you say a "sinner's prayer" at some point in your life that you will be "saved" from this world and Hell and get to escape to Heaven someday when God "raptures" all the Christians. If you've read the Bible and you're wondering where that came from, that's because the idea really isn't in there much. Because of these next-life values, this gospel places more value on the work of missionaries and evangelists than it does on the work of writing and waitressing.

This sinner's prayer gospel tends to vote Republican, and most members aren't fans of Mormons, Muslims, Catholics, intellectuals, or gays. They're amazingly complicit in America's wars. They love to quote fire-and-brimstone passages, while explaining away the beatitudes and Matthew 25. It becomes a big in-out game in which someone's after-life status is a constant source of concern. I have a friend who lost a clergy job because (among other reasons) he admitted he still sins and always will.

This group reads "Christian" books, listens to "Christian" music, and watches "Christian" movies. In the more extreme fringes of this sinner's prayer Gospel are those think that not only are you "saved" into Heaven, but that when you become a Christian, you will be blessed with material prosperity if you just believe hard enough live righteously.

Lest this post turn into a bashing session of that gospel alone, allow me to get to the other gospel. Admittedly, this other gospel is the one I have leaned toward during my adult years, but it is just as problematic. This is a different sub-set of churches whose gospel seems to mean something much different. You will hear vague statements like, "The most important thing is to love." They quote verses about not judging a lot and seem to embrace an "anything goes" sort of sexuality.

But nonetheless, these hippies, hipsters, and suburban leftists do judge; they just judge in different areas. While living among such a group, my sister once said, "I felt judged if I drank a can of pop." Yes, those are the actions for which this group judges. Are you eating the right food? Are you reading the right books? Are you watching the trendy television show, listening to the latest Indy music? Do you drink local beer?

For this group, your work is of higher value if you are a social worker with the mentally ill than if you represent your region in the state government.

This second gospel trumpets diversity, but they are not very diverse themselves. They criticize technology and consumerism, but many of them carry iPhones and iPads.

They love to reference the passage in the New Testament where Jesus tells the rich man to give away his possessions and give them to the poor. Meanwhile, they ignore or explain away the fact that God blessed Job, Joseph, and Daniel with great wealth and power. The same tension is there with war. They love "Blessed are the peacemakers" but explain away "I come not to bring peace, but a sword."

While both sides embrace their own neat little boxes and categories for God, neither side seems all that comfortable with God as sovereign. That seems too risky, too uncertain, too mysterious. Meanwhile, these two groups often stand on opposite sides of an ideological fence and shout at each other, telling each other how wrong they are, and proof-texting their verses of choice. It can be a pretty ugly picture for a bunch of people who claim to follow the same Christ.

Is there any hope for unity, reconciliation, or more congruence? What is the actual (true?) gospel? About the only answer I have is, Lord, have mercy...

Writing About Place: An Interview with Robert Rebein

Robert Rebein is a writer and professor at IUPUI, which is also where I'm currently doing much of my own studying, writing, and teaching during this season of life. Rebein, who has published short stories, essays, and literary criticism, is currently working on a collection of essays called Dragging Wyatt Earp: Essays on Place and Identity. He has given me permission to share some of a recent conversation we had in his office.

Chris: Much of your own writing and thnking deals with place. What do you miss about Dodge City, Kansas?

Robert: My writing does come out of this idea because I grew up in a place with large consequences for staying. Not making a decision usually meant staying. Everyone knew there is nothing for you there unless you decided to make it work in farming, or as a rancher, or as a lawyer. For me, leaving that place has made me appreciate it more and want to go back. So I "go back" by writing about it. I'm not sure if I will live there again or not, but I could. Being away makes you see it more clearly than people that never left. I go back and run into these people who stayed and they want to apologize for not leaving. They want to know why I'd come back. Except maybe the ranchers and other landowners. They don't apologize because they're really connected to the place and have developed a pretty good status. I think in order to write about place, you have to be from one of these really fascinating places or you have to go find these places, like a travel writer might.

Chris: Indianapolis is such a sprawling city. Can you develop the same sort of attachment here as you can in Dodge City, Kansas?

Robert: I think you can, but there's this same insider-outsider factor at work. I live in a German/Irish Catholic enclave on the East side. My kids go to school with others who have parents and grandparents who went to this same school. They have no outside perspective because they never left. A perfect example is this writer Patricia Hampl. She's from Minneapolis and grew up in a Catholic neighborhood. But she got out of there so the place could exist inside her. All this stuff stays in her mind now. In order to write about a place, you have to be able to see and document what's interesting both to people who live there and people who don't.

Chris: Christmas break has basically arrived. What will you be reading?

Robert: Well, I've been going through these Best American Essay collections from 2006-2010. I'm interested in who's good at this genre and why. Some of them are great, but what I'm finding is that it totally depends on the editor. Sometimes I feel like I can write better stuff than the editor picks. Like this 2010 collection, which Christopher Hitchens, who just died, edited. It seems like he just took a bunch out of the same publication. But I love the one Adam Gophnick did, so it seems to really depend on the editor. So when I find something I really like, I say to myself, I'm going to try to do something like that. It always ends up very different than the piece that inspired me, but it's a fun exercise.

Pro Blak on His Rap, Chicago, Private School, and The Bears' Downfall

The next person who has graced me by participating in this interview series is a former high school classmate and budding rapper, Don Mayor, who goes by Pro Blak. Enjoy!

Chris: Don, thanks for agreeing to talk to me. We went to high school together, at the Culver Academies. Believe it or not, I've still got your demo from back in the day. Glad to see you're still making a go of it in rap. Can you give me an outline of some of the highlights since that demo? Some of the challenges?

Don: Congrats on holding on to that keepsake. That in and of itself made my day. My career since then has been doing things a little outside of the box. I have performed from everywhere from schools, community centers, churches, mosques, and clubs. I try to be as versatile as possible in my approach and touch as many people with my music as I can. Some of the obstacles are just not conforming to the times, or being what other people want you to be. Sometimes it may be more monetarily advantageous, but not where you want your career to go.

Chris: You go by the stage name of Pro Blak. Can you talk a little bit about what that means?

Don: Pro Blak stands for People Resisting Oppression Blacks and Latins Acquiring Knowledge. It’s about unity, uplifting our communities, and making the best out of your situation. It’s about me being aware of my surroundings, that although I was able to go to a boarding school and a private university my family was still living in the projects. So I got to see what the effects of poverty, gangs, drugs, and the prison system have on a community. It is about recognizing that it’s not just race in America, it is class warfare going on as well. It’s evident everyday in our society with occupy wallstreet, corporate bailouts, layoffs. It is aboutThe haves vs The have-nots. I think everybody got a little bit of Pro Blak in them.

Chris: I almost want to apologize for bringing this up, but I can't help but recall the scene in Eight Mile when Eminem's character disses the guy for going to Cranbrook, a private school in Detroit. You're a private school guy yourself. Is there any of that sentiment in your business or is that just a Hollywood perception?

Don: No need to apologize. I think that the key to success is just being yourself. I think if someone doesn’t want to work with someone because they deem me to be overly educated is that person’s problem not mine. I think the scene in 8 mile that worked against Clearance (character in Eight Mile) was that he ran away for who he was and tried to be something he wasn’t. I’m pretty transparent in my music so my listeners are aware of my past.

Chris: Can you talk about maybe one or two songs you've created that mean a lot to you?

Don: It’s hard to just name two, Chris, but I guess I would have to say My song Chill (chi-ill), an ode to Chicago, is one, and the other is called So I Rise which is inspired by the Maya Angelou poem Still I Rise. That was one of the first songs I made where people said I was really on to something with my Music Career.

Chris: As a writer, I can really appreciate the amount of work it takes to create something meaningful. Who and what inspires your lyrics?

Don: I guess I would have to just say life experiences in general: happiness, sadness, triumphs, failures, problems, and solutions.

Chris: Do you have to keep a day job or are you making money by rapping yet? What would you tell a younger guy who wants to rap?

Don: As an independent artist I make the bulk of my money off of live shows and Itunes sales. I would tell any artist to have a backup plan because the odds of you living off of your art alone overnight is slim and just be dedicated to your craft and yourself and you should be fine.

Chris: You being from Chicago and me from Northern Indiana, one of the things we share is our sports' allegiances. Are you a White Sox fan or a Cubs' fan?

Don: I hate when people make me choose, but when push comes to shove I am a Cubs fan. Team Theo all the way!

Chris: We have that in common, by the way. Cheering for both the White Sox and the Cubs, leaning toward the Cubs. Any hope left in the Bears this season? What expectations do you have for the Bulls in the abbreviated season ahead of them?

Don: The Bears? First off I want to say Marion Barber makes me want to cut my dreads. I am usually an eternal optimist, but you can stick a fork in the beloved. I haven’t seen a season fall apart this bad since I’ve been watching sports. They need Cutler back because the combination of Caleb Hanie, Mike Martz, and that receiving core is a disaster. The Bulls? The Bulls have depth, length, a new consistent scoring 2-guard, a great coach, and the reigning MVP Derrick Rose! I’m expecting great things from them this year and look forward to tuning in every other day with this abbreviated schedule.

Chris: Anything else you want to say?

Don: Sure do. For more Pro Blak check out my Facebook page or Youtube channel. This is only the beginning. God Bless!

Chris: Thanks again, man, and good luck!

Travel, Loneliness, Place, Biodiversity, and the Peace Corps: An Interview with My Sister, Angela

It doesn't take a Feminist to see that my series of interviews is desperate for some female voices. I'm going to keep looking for them, but I knew I could count on my sister, Angela, for some good stuff. She has spent the last year-and-a-half in Ecuador. Here is our interview.

Chris: You've spent the last year and a half in Ecuador as a part of the Peace Corps. What drew you to the Peace Corps and how has the experience aligned with your expectations?

Angela: As a child and teenager I heard several adults who I respected talk about their Peace Corps experiences and how much it formed the person they became and what they believed. In an abstract way I wanted this type of experience, although it was also largely for the selfish desire to travel far away from the small town where I grew up and have some adventures. Then as I was nearing the end of high school, and even more so, throughout college, I became much more aware of the things going on in the world around me. In college I became somewhat active in raising small-scale awareness of huge social justice issues through my college social work club and in volunteering at a refugee resettlement agency in Erie, PA. The main issues focused on were Darfur and Burma (Myanmar), but it became increasingly clear to me that there were injustices occurring all over the world, of which most Americans seemed ignorant. At this point I was trying to figure out what was next and thought the Peace Corps would be a great stepping stone to get into the world of international development. I was drawn to the fact that it had a training program and that I would spend two year in one place, which would give me plenty of time to become proficient in at least one other language.

I have to say in just about every way my experience has not been the equivalent to my expectations. This is not to say that everything has been bad and that the Peace Corps has completely failed me. So much of one’s Peace Corps experience is dependent on a country and specific site placement within that country. I have to say I was completely disappointed by the level of training I received, although I realize now this is largely due to the fact that Ecuador is a high-risk PC country relating to safety and security issues. Many of the Early Terminations (ETs) are due to robberies or other incidents. This means that we are repeatedly forced to listen to security talks pounding prevention tactics into our brains. Obviously this is important and has been helpful throughout my experience, yet it often left us feeling that our training staff was not committing sufficient time to language classes or specific skill training relating to our individual work assignments. This may not have been that important to some, but for me, it was one of the main reasons I chose the PC over other programs that send volunteers abroad for service. Also, I was sent to Ecuador as a Youth & Families “Special Needs” volunteer, of which I had next to no experience. I made the poor assumption that much of my training would be dedicated to this area. I was wrong. During our two-month training, we spent one morning visiting a special needs school, had one talk on macro themes relating to Special Needs (humans rights, national policies, etc), and a week-long tech trip supposedly focused on giving “charlas” or educational talks on values like self-esteem and goals to children with various handicaps. However, most of this trip ended up being sex education charlas to various populations that had no connection whatsoever to special needs.

Another way in which my experience doesn’t align with my expectations was that I had this romanticized idea of going away to spend two years in a tiny little village where I would know and build relationships with everyone in the town. Then in reality, I was sent to a beautiful city of 200,000. I lived in a town up the side of one mountain and worked up the side of another mountain all the way across the city center. I am not saying this type of set-up does not have advantages: I have plenty of friends my age, the gender roles are not as strict in most cities (it is perfectly appropriate, even if not completely normal, for me to play soccer with a bunch of guys every week), and I have a broader choice when it comes to restaurants, churches, and places to go out at night. Yet, I still feel inklings of jealousy when I go visit my friends out in the beautiful countryside or in small coastal towns where they know every neighbor and spend legitimate time with the people in their neighborhood, even if only for lack of other things to do.

The main expectation that has not lined up with my expectations is my work. Again, I was expecting to work in a rural area (and in a severely underdeveloped country), where the education was pretty low and where my lack of job experience wouldn’t make much of a difference because my college education would provide me more than enough knowledge to start some sustainable projects that the town had never thought of, while building relationships with the youth and women of the town. But I am in a city with 3 separate universities (one of which is public and free to all). While in my experience the education level is not equal to that of an average U.S school, the majority of people I come into contact are high school or college graduates and have as much or more knowledge as I do in life skills and, specifically, in the area of Special Education. Aside from this, I was placed in a special needs school, which is run by a much bigger political organization. This means, of course, that there is plenty of bureaucracy and paperwork that my coworkers and counterpart must deal with on a daily basis, often skewing the decision-making to fit the administration, rather than the students and parents of the school. It also means that my “counterpart” has never had time to work with me to plan projects, but would rather I keep my mouth shut and work as an extra employee of the school. I am definitely not alone in this. Many volunteers in cities seem to be placed in these types of situations and are just treated as free labor. In my specific situation, though, a person from outside the school was the one to send in the volunteer application, so no one in the organization really understood what a volunteer was supposed to do. Their expectations of me do not at all fit what the application asked of a volunteer. Also, the school has had four directors so far in the year and a half I have been here, meaning that my official counterpart is constantly changing and any project planning we have done has been completely erased once a new director steps in.

Chris: What have been the best and worst aspects about the experience?

Angela: This is pretty difficult to answer as I am still inside the experience. But something that I think is both a blessing and curse is how much I have been humbled here (a good thing), to the point of losing my confidence almost completely (a bad thing), in my ability to do good work. This clearly has been a painful process, but has helped me to realize that I need to be intentional about choosing a work environment that is filled with supportive people who are willing to take extra time challenge me and to help me grow. Basically I have learned the lesson that I, as an individual, am not worth that much. Yet in a community with similar goals, I can do a great deal of meaningful work.

Other than this, the worst part has been loneliness. I totally underestimated my reliance on others. It is my third time living abroad, but did not realize how different this experience would be given the much longer time commitment and the fact that previous experiences have been largely centered around diversions. The best part, though, has been my relationships in general, but especially with the kids. When I first visited the school I was so overwhelmed by the difficulties of their daily lives and the suffering of their families, most of whom live in extreme poverty. I was terrified of being put in charge of the kids, as I have spent no significant time around any persons with handicaps (the closest experience being a month-long internship working with adults who have mental illnesses, which is not really the same at all). I know through this experience I have overcome a lot of this fear and come to better understand the strengths and needs of each child as an individual. While I regret not being able to complete the project ideas I had and talked to people about at various point (mostly to work with the families in order to provide job opportunities or more education on nutrition, etc), I am grateful for my time in a classroom with children with whom no one else wants to work. I was put in a classroom with a new teacher and a classroom full of preteen boys with severe mental handicaps and significant behavioral issues. No teacher in the school wanted to be placed with these kids, including the teacher I now work with. Last year I worked largely as a substitute teacher, and on the days when I was thrown into this class, generally with no warning and nothing offered to keep the kids busy, I would spend all day frustrated and sometimes on the verge of tears. This year, working together we have made it a much more enjoyable classroom setting and have seen progress in each child. The advances are small and maybe impossible for anyone from the outside to see, yet each time we witness a child behaving better, trying something new or simply happier, it makes it worth all the frustrations. Each day is still a challenge full of ups and downs, and we still feel as if our students tend to take two steps forward and one back, but in my mind it does redeem my experience here in many ways. Even if I leave no “sustainable” changes behind when I leave, I know I have changed and grown significantly in ways that will make me a better person and help me to be a more effective worker wherever I end up. My little sister (Mandy, also your sister), recently had me read an article written by a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer (RPCV) on how her experience taught her how to fail and how this is important for young Americans to learn, because we are often sheltered from this reality growing up. I would say my experience has been similar in many.

Chris: I have heard that Ecuador is one of the most bio-diverse countries in the world. How much of that diversity have you experienced?

Angela: Yes this is true, and the natural beauty of Ecuador is incredible! I am convinced if it weren’t for all the crime and the lack of organization it would definitely be one of the top, if not the top, tourist country in the world. Sadly, a poor transportation system makes travelling more difficult than I anticipated. The country is split into three main regions (four if you include the Galapagos Islands): the coastal region, the Andes mountain region, and the jungle region. Each of these have very distinct cultures as well, although even within the regions there are many indigenous groups or tribes that continue to keep alive their own languages, traditions, celebrations, and even justice systems (that often seem pretty barbaric to many of us). This is very beautiful at times, yet messy—as with anything—and has caused a lot of problems for both the country’s political system and for foreigners who wander in blind to the cultural realities of where they are.

My own experience has largely been in areas close to my site. I am fortunate to live in a beautiful southern province set in the mountains, but only a short drive from the edge of the jungle and the start of the coastal region (although the actual beach is several hours away). I am also fortunate enough to be less than an hour from the entrance of Podocarpus National Park, which supposedly holds the world record for the most species of trees per hectare. It spans from high altitude cloud forest to lower altitude rain forest. I hiked with some friends to the famous Lagunas del Campadre in the cloud forest. The hike general takes two-three days, although ours took four due to a poorly-followed “shortcut.” I have also done a few shorter hikes as well on the rain forest side, the most common one being out to the waterfall La Poderosa, or The Powerful. On these hikes we definitely saw a wide variety of trees and other plants, which are beautiful and exotic. I am nowhere near a botanist and do not know many of their names or much information on them. The city of Zamora, on the jungle side of the park, is known as a top bird-watching spot. I spent a weekend there in a hostel (made up of a cluster of cabins), which is focused on sustainability issues and helping people enjoy the park and the birds in nondestructive ways. The owner puts out food for the birds every morning, and it is incredible to see how many different species end up there that I have never and possibly will never see again in my life.

I am still hoping to take a trip deeper in the jungle, although much of it is off limits to PC volunteers for various security reasons. The other place I (and everyone else) would love to go is the Galapagos, but it is expensive and unlikely on my PC stipend. I am, however, looking forward to revisiting both sides of the park with the purpose of sharing the experience with my family when they come down next week!

Chris: I know you're a reader. How do you go and the other PC volunteers go about acquiring your reading materials down there and what are you reading right now?

Angela: PC volunteers are probably one of the biggest reading populations I have ever encountered. For that reason books are usually not a problem for me, although being a city volunteer who frequently meets up with others makes this much easier than for some more isolated volunteers. One of the strengths of PC, at least in my experience, is the sense of solidarity among volunteers, many times among people who would never be friends in most circumstances. Volunteers are great about passing along not only books, but magazines, DVDs (cheap pirated copies of recently released movies can be found around every corner), and music. We can also borrow books from the PC office in Quito and most cities have some sort of library (although most libraries generally do not allow checking out) or cafe or hostel that has a book exchange. Book stores themselves do exist in some cities, but are expensive and don’t tend to offer a huge selection of English books.

As I have more free time than probably ever in my life, I have been flying through books. I was given the advice by an older volunteer of keeping a list of the books I read while I am here. I am grateful that I have done this, because it is easy for me to relate what was reading at any given time to particular experiences I was having here. For example, I have read several cheap novels I would probably not normally chose at times when I spent a lot of time suffering physical illness and got stretched for books I actually wanted to read. Recently, though, I have had the luck of some packages from the states and a trip home, meaning I have had some really quality books to read. Recently I finished Barbara Kingsolver’s latest novel, Prodigal Summer (which you gave me). It was the first novel of hers that I have read, and while when I first began reading it I thought it was not my style (it had the feeling of a cheap romantic novel at times), in the end I really enjoyed it and found the way Kingsolver explored the tension between the natural and human world fascinating. The majority of the book focuses on three separate relationships, which make very real the daily difficulties of living off the land without exploiting it. I have spent a considerable time in the past few years trying to work through these difficulties from an academic/intellectual standpoint, yet this often clashes, at least in the short-term, with the needs of impoverished communities. These communities generally have lifetimes of experience trying to live off the land, which can be a source of resentment toward those who go off to learn about the land in classes, then come tell these experienced communities that they need to change all of their methods. The argument could be made that Kingsolver is clearly biased toward the academic side and doesn’t do justice to the communities’ experiences, but it is an interesting read nonetheless. I then started Philip Roth’s American Pastoral (also from you), which is also a first read for me of this author, but I am not far enough in to make any sort of judgment. Another author I have recently discovered is Marilynne Robinson. She seems to have gotten fairly popular in recent years, but I had never heard of her until a friend sent me a copy of her novel Housekeeping. After I finished that one, I stumbled across a copy of Gilead, which quickly moved into my list of top five favorite books. It is set in a rural small town and deals with a wide variety of issues, including the human tensions involved in family, forgiveness, growing old, and war/pacifism, and others, all connected through the threads of faith and theology.

Chris: When you were in the states, you resonated a bit with the Occupy Movement particularly as it relates to student loans. What has your experience in that area been?

Angela: My experience is pretty typical: I was a college student who racked up a bunch of debt due to my own poor decision-making and a naive trust of a school and education system, which is (in my opinion) more focused on making money than on providing a good education at a realistic cost. No country has comparable college costs, and while most American colleges include living costs and many more luxuries, these are generally unnecessary, yet often mandatory. One specific example of this at my school included as full freshman meal plans, which were NEVER used up and couldn’t be used to pay for friends, but still a mandatory part of tuition. Another would be the rule that students must live on campus the first two years (other than commuters that can prove previous residency in Erie), rather than allowing students to find cheaper, off campus housing. And the fact is that the little luxuries provided to students and used to justify tuition increases still don’t add up to the differences. I am not saying that I think my college did anything illegal, with the exception, of a specific administrator in charge of our work study program (who continually cut mine and other students’ work study amounts) who was eventually fired for embezzlement, and who I am sure had to pay back the school (which of course doesn’t really help out the students’ debt problems). Yet a lack of breaking the law doesn’t equal honorable treatment of students or their tuition. No one ever explained to me that the financial aid package I received as a freshman would significantly shrink each year, while school tuition increased. Yes, I should have gone out of my way to ask more questions. But, I was a naive eighteen year old, as are most college freshman. And as to tuition increases, they can give a million reasons why it was necessary each year, but the truth is that most of the over $6,000 that tuition increased while I was a student went toward an unnecessary $14 million new freshman dorm. It was unnecessary because the existing housing at the school was not and never had been completely filled, and it was also irrelevant to me because it was not used until after I graduated. It was also full of unnecessary luxuries, like a gym inside just for the freshmen who would eventually live there. This may help “the future” of the school and eventually help line the pockets of administrators, but it certainly doesn’t help students get a quality education without going deeper into debt.

I realize I could have gone to an Indiana state school that offered in-state tuition. I should have worked harder to get outside scholarships and maybe should have spent more time working instead of pursuing non-scholarship athletic interests. Yet, the financial aid package and tuition I was presented with coming in would have resulted in much less debt than I ended up with after aid decreases and tuition increases, and if I had known what to expect I am sure I would have at least considered these options more. I also could have transferred. But another issue at my school was that they were pretty strict (and in my opinion slightly shady) about not accepting transfer credits. This was an issue that cost many of my friends thousands of dollars and discouraged me from wanting to transfer elsewhere, lest the same occur there. Fortunately, I had an advisor who helped me out in this area while trying to convince the school that they should accept all of my study abroad credits, which of course, they did not want to do. Luckily, this advisor went in with me on several occasions to make sure all my credits were counted and I wouldn’t have to retake pointless classes and waste money taking them. The support I received from her the rest of my academic department was another reason I chose not to leave the school. Unfortunately, not all students had someone going to bat for them.

Chris: Looking forward, what do you anticipate is ahead for you when you return to the States next summer?

Angela: I knew to expect a bunch of difficult and direct questions from you, but this is the most difficult question that I am continually asked by everyone I come into contact with, both here and in the states. The answer is, of course, I am still not sure. The short-term view is a hope to spend lots of time catching up with family and friends. For the long term, I am getting a better grasp on what I do and do not want in life, and I hope to find a job and community that meets at least most of my desires. I am learning that I need to do more research and be more intentional about choosing jobs that more specifically fit my desires and strengths, as well as being in a place close to the people I care about. My ideas about place specifically have shifted in huge ways in the past few years. This mindset change actually started before I left, while reading challenging books by authors such as Wendell Berry and while living and working in a unique community set in rural Appalachia, called Good Works. I am coming to understand that generally most change is affected through long-term commitments to both a place and a community. I am referring to both the changes I can affect and the changes that can be affected inside of me by my relationships with others. Clearly this does not line up well with international development. This goal has been slow to die, as it really was what I saw myself doing long-term. But I am trying to be honest about the person God is molding me into, and I have to admit it no longer seems like a good fit. I am not saying this won’t change at some point in my life, but right now it is not the direction I am looking. In the year I spent at Good Works, I clearly saw the fruits of 30 years of labor in one community. The struggles and poverty were also evident, but there was a hope that I witnessed and experienced there that I have not seen anywhere else in the social service world, and especially not in a Peace Corps-type experience. I am not saying that this would be everyone’s experience, or that this hope is impossible elsewhere, just that I believe this type of community is special and takes years of commitment to build. It is quite possible that I will end up back there, whether next year or somewhere down the road. Regardless of whether I return there, I am searching for a community of faith, possibly in an intentional community environment, which is focused on living out Christ’s love by striving to alleviate human suffering while working to live in more sustainable ways. In a job setting, I want to work for a small organization in which I have a real relationship with my co-workers and boss. I see myself being relatively close to my family and friends, many of whom are getting married and having babies that I care about greatly and with whom I would like to build relationships. I am also leaning toward living in a rural area, where I can have a nice big garden to learn and grow in, as well as plenty of nature nearby to enjoy just for the sake of beauty. I do tend to get easily bored and have gone through many phases. so who knows if this will change. But if this is God’s will for my life, I hope I have the strength to endure this type of commitment for as many years as He wants me to.

Consumerism, Rookie Pastors, and Genesis Church with Josh Tandy: An Interview

Today, I will be interviewing Josh Tandy: an old friend/colleague, a blogger, and a pastor.

Chris: You and I met while serving as resident assistants in Smith Hall at Anderson University. Can you give us one good R.A. memory?

Josh: Being an R.A. was a very formative experience. My second year was your first year as an R.A. and the staff happened to balance itself equally from new guys to second year "veterans" so we decided to partner up for something I am sure us veteran guys thought would be really profound. We even called them ManDates, I'm sure you see the pun and how a 21-year old thought this was genius.

As I remember it we met for lunch several times and talked about leadership and life in the dorm, but it wasn't nearly as profound as I had anticipated. What did happen was that I learned the value of intentional relationships and the fact that to mentor someone is an experience in humility.

Chris: I believe you work at a place called Genesis Church in Noblesville, Indiana? What makes your church distinctive?

Josh: Genesis is a church plant that is almost 10 years old and trying to figure out how to remain true to our identity as we grow. The first thing people notice is that we meet in a warehouse. It used to be part of a Firestone factory and while it is a church now at first glance from the outside you might still think it is a place where tires are made. The loading dock is now our cafe and as you enter you walk up a ramp that was once used for fork trucks, in fact you can see the scars in the block wall from drivers who took a turn too wide. We try to be a simple church that is only about a few core ideas in terms of what it means to be part of a church and one that isn't about filling a calendar with activities. We don't have membership instead we ask people to prove it by joining in and contributing.

Even though we added a third service we are running out of room but as opposed to relocating and building a bigger building we are starting a second campus in a nearby community. We love our warehouse, but we don't own it and we won't own the building that our second campus meets in. The upside of being flexible and not tied to a huge mortgage is more fitting to our culture. Multi-site is a change in thinking and practice of which there are specifics left to be fully understood in our context, but it allows us to remain close to our culture that seems to connect with our community.

Chris: What do you think is one huge obstacle for the Church right now? What's one thing that's going well?

Josh: The obstacle for our church is leadership development. We don't have enough leaders and a lack of leaders is going to be the glass ceiling for the impact we can have. These are ministry leaders who serve on a Sunday morning, small group leaders that meet in a home at various times, musicians, technicians, and hopefully apprentices that work with all these leaders. People are excited about what is happening and are getting involved.

Consumerism is, in my opinion, the greatest threat to the church in the West and this plays out when people contract out their spiritual growth to other "professionals". We don't have this completely figured out but the only reason that we are able to open another site is first we are being forced to because people are reaching out to friends and family but also because we have great leaders who are willing to commit to something that is inconvenient for the sake of the Gospel.

Chris: You write for a blog called Rookie Pastor. What kinds of topics do you explore there?

Josh: I have a real passion for coming along side young pastors and those new to ministry and leadership in the church. In my own personal story I dealt with a lot of conflict and loneliness in my first few years of ministry and it was really, really hard. As I forced myself to reach out to others for some support I got knowing looks and nodding heads because the basics of my story were so common. However I didn't find anything that really spoke to this.

So the short story is that I created RookiePastor.com but the longer and more accurate story is that I had been blogging for awhile and as I began to refine my focus to this area of young pastors the original owner and blogger of RookiePastor.com decided he was done with the site and he graciously let me take it on.

In addition to the site I hold periodic meet ups with other rookie pastors in the area for lunch. At these lunch events I try to always provide them with a pertinent resource (usually a book or periodical) and bring a more experienced pastor to share with the group. Beyond just a networking event these are 90-minute micro-conferences.
Chris: Will we ever see a book from you? If so, what would it be about?

Josh: I hope so. The plan for 2012 is to have an e-book for rookie pastors, a survival guide of sorts. Be watching for it at RookiePastor.com.  

Chris: Thanks Josh, looking forward to it!

Josh: Thanks for having me on.

The White Male Identity

A friend of mine—who attends graduate school in Boston—recently contacted me about a project she was working on. She was studying the white male identity—an identity she had admittedly struggled to connect with throughout her life. She wanted to hear my own thoughts about the identity that is my own. Had she asked me this question two years ago, I doubt I would have had anything substantive to say about it. But it just so happens that I’ve spent about a year and a half really dwelling on masculinity, and the past semester working on a literature study that focused on the white male, specifically.

I can't say I really grew up thinking about thinking about it. It was my identity in some sense, but it's not the sort of thing you consider yourself as until you encounter some sort of "other." Thankfully, I was forced into that "other" at a pretty young age in a good way. My two best friends going up were black in a very, white, rural town. But even then, I was a kid. I didn't think it unusual and it didn't cause much self-reflection until we went to high school in a more diverse setting and my black friends found other black people to be friends with, so our friendships sort of distanced. It was hurtful, but I can't say I really blame them for their choices.

I remember one time talking with one of them about our town, and I said essentially that I didn't think it was a racist town, that I'd never noticed any racism. One of them said, very tenderly, "Chris that's because you're not black."

So alas, I get to self -reflection about being white by noticing and being around those who aren't. There are other light bulb stories, but those are the first ones that come to mind.

The same is true for gender. I remember someone coming to my high school and presenting what I took as a very male-vilifying presentation about the realities of sexual assaults and such. Basically bringing awareness to the vulnerability, especially sexual, of most females in this world. "This isn't my problem!" I remember saying indignantly at some talk-back session.

Well, it is my problem. I began to see this as I encountered family members, female friends, and women that I have dated who have been taken advantage of sexually. Yes, it is my problem.

But still the defensiveness is there. I'm white, male, heterosexual, and Protestant: the stereotypical oppressor, at least in this country. While I didn't grow up in a family that possessed much wealth or power, I cannot deny (now) that if I wanted those things, they would be easier for me to acquire than so many others. Although it's changing (slowly), so there is also something at stake for me to lose. An advantage, so to speak. Sub-consciously, I don't want to lose it, because that makes me less in control, more vulnerable.

So there are all these movements--Feminism, Queer studies/rights, racial/ethnic civil rights, socioeconomic political movements (Occupy, for example), and so I am in this place where there is an awareness that I have something to lose with all that steam heading in other directions.

So what I argued in my an American literature paper this semester is that the white male has really been isolated in the last, oh, 50 or so years. While all these movements certainly have good things to say and some good things have come out of them, they are also worth critiquing, in my opinion. But the problem is, when one tries to offer some of those critiques, he (or I) immediately gets cast as racist/bigoted/homophobic/sexist. The result is a lot of numbness, a lot of existential confusion, and a lot of shame for white males.

If I could, a quote from C.S. Lewis’s The Abolition of Man:

"And all the time—such is the tragi-comedy of our situation—we continue to clamour for those very qualities we are rendering impossible. You can hardly open a periodical without coming across the statement that what our civilization needs is more 'drive', or dynamism, or self-sacrifice, or 'creativity'. In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful."

This dynamic then leads to a lot of fatherlessness, which is a dangerous thing for any society. (Donald Miller writes about his experiences with this throughout his memoirs, if you're interested.)

I would suggest that we need the white male (we also need the white female, the black male, the Hispanic female, etc.), but that we're losing him in these efforts to regain others.

To counter this in my own life, I've been both fortunate and intentional about seeking out the wisdom and relationships of white men who seem to live well-integrated, purposeful lives. Men who love their families well, men who work at a job they love, men who lead, and men who show their vulnerability. At least three men come to mind as people who have played a sort of mentor role for me and probably a dozen or so others with whom I have intentionally related with and perhaps even a few for whom I have served as a mentor.

While mentors cannot replace an involved father, they are the best answer I have found in filling some of the gaps in our identity.

Changing Over Time: An Interview with Tory Fodder

Today's interviewee is Tory Fodder. I met him several years ago in a little town called Walters, Oklahoma. I'm tempted to list his accomplishments and interests, but I think it would cheapen him and just encourage you to start pegging him into various boxes. So instead, read his responses, and if you like what you find, check out his blog.

Chris: Tory, we met several years ago in Walters, Oklahoma. You grew up there if I'm not mistaken? What was it like? Will you ever return in a more full-time capacity?

Tory: Yes, I grew up in Walters. As you know, the town is quite small with a population just under 3,000 people. If there is a town in reality that mirrors Andy Griffith's Mayberry, then Walters very much fits the bill. What I remember most about it, and this is reinforced every time I go back - is how loyal the community is to the town. Families that live there tend to stick around, almost to the point where the locale itself becomes an identity for its residents.

My wife and I are actually planning to return to Oklahoma once I've finished my dissertation here at Arizona. Barring an exceptional change of plans, our intent is to return 'home' in May, possibly to Walters, and eventually to start a family. The town really is a great place to set down roots - although I wonder a bit how we'll adjust to living in such a small place.

Chris: You have Native American blood and you also integrate Native American topics into your law studies. What are some of the traditions that will always be a part of you?

Tory: I am, indeed, Native American. Blood quantum is 4/4's, or full-blood, from four different tribes (Taos Pueblo, Comanche, Kiowa, Cherokee). I like to think that if I were at Hogwarts I would be a 'pure-blood' instead of a 'mudblood.'

Growing up, my family was heavily involved in inter-tribal social gatherings called 'pow-wows.' We travelled extensively across the American Southwest during the summer months, often with friends and extended family in tow. My sisters and I all had our particular dance regalia for the various dances we knew. Usually, these gatherings lasted over the course of an entire weekend. This tradition is something I will always remember because it completely shaped my childhood. Some kids did little league during the summer - we went to pow-wows.

Chris: According to your blog, you are a Republican. During these past few years, I've definitely become pretty disillusioned by partisan politics. Can you make the case for a loyal allegiance to a political party?

Tory: I've been a Republican since I first registered to vote. Given the Nation's political history over the same stretch of time (11 yrs or so), disillusionment is something I understand, too.

I won't pretend to have any new insight into selecting a party affiliation, but I think one important thing to keep in mind is that our political system requires compromise. No political party can, or will check every box on one's list of issues. Ideological grandstanding that assumes the contrary really annoys me. Still, my loyalty to the GOP results from a continual reassessment of the issues that are most important to me. I make my list, assess my position, and then see which party aligns with the majority of my views. Uniformly that has been the GOP.

The thing about this approach is that it allows for personal change over time. When I was younger, I penned fiery op-eds in my campus newspaper about gay marriage. Today, I wouldn't approach the issue in the same way - even though the GOP still aligns with the majority of my policy views.

Chris: Who do you like in the 2012 election?

Tory: My personal preference in the race would be former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman. But of the entire field, including President Obama, I think that former MA Gov. Mitt Romney is the candidate most likely to win in 2012. In the GOP primary, Romney has a political operation that the rest of the field can't match, and equally as important, he has the cash on hand to keep the machine running. During the general election, President Obama has a similarly formidable election team, but his leadership on the economy has been dismal. I just don't see how the President wins with a 9% unemployment rate. And for my money, I don’t think he deserves to.

Chris: You write a blog called Pax Plena. If we were to give it a browse, what are some of the kinds of topics we would find?

Tory: Well, as you can probably tell from some of my replies, Pax Plena covers a lot of political and policy issues. I also make quite a few posts about current events, and things I read that amuse me. I broadly categorize these under "life." You'd also find a fair amount of posts on faith, which typically amount to some of my reflections about God, existence, and grace.

Over the past year, however, I've tried to broaden the scope of the blog by incorporating book reviews into my coverage. I've had good feedback from publishers and authors, so that's something I hope to do more of in the future.

Chris: I do believe you married a hoosier, which confirms to me that you have good taste. How has marriage changed your life?

Tory: I am very much indebted to the Hoosier State. Any place that's home to my wife, Larry Bird, and Leslie Knope, can't be all bad. This will probably sound slightly cliché (nearly all descriptions of marriage are), but being married has utterly reoriented my life's focus.

Decisions that I would have made without much thought, now require me to take my wife, and our future into account. And this thought process applies (ideally) across the spectrum of life, from family visits during the holidays, to job prospects, to our monthly household budget. I'm not perfect at it, but I try to think outside my own self-interest and motivations, which really changed my life's focus from when I was single and in my early 20s.

Chris: Thanks a ton, Tory. Maybe someday we'll rendez-vous in Walters again!

Balance, Academia, and Egypt With Dr. Shrock: An Interview

I recently caught up with a former history professor of mine. Here is our interview.

Chris: Dr. Shrock, one of the things that has always struck me about you is the degree to which you are accessible to students and alums. How are you able to maintain that accessibility while still getting all your other work done and leading a family of your own?

Dr. Shrock: This balance can be very difficult. We all have to make choices about how we spend our time. Working at a teaching-oriented university provides me with the ability to spend more time with students and alums because the institution rewards me for strong teaching as well as service and publishing. If I was at a publish-or-perish institution, I would be forced to close my door more often to work on my research projects. At the same time, I do it because this is the part of my job that I really enjoy. I like students and I enjoy mentoring. My wife and I have a really good partnership when it comes to our family. We are both professionals and are very busy, but we are careful to make time for our three boys and for each other. It is a process of constant give-and-take as well as late nights. I guess the bottom line is that I value the relationships I have with everyone in my life and I try to make time for them all.

Chris: What research are you working on right now?

Dr. Shrock: Right now I am in the process of getting an article on gun culture, violence, and manliness in early twentieth century boys' fiction published. I have been researching it for a ridiculously long time so something needs to get written. After that I am probably going to write a short article on juvenile book readership in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century for a conference in March.

Chris: What is a good book you've read recently that had nothing to do with your research or classes?

Dr. Shrock: I like Erik Larson, In the Garden of Beasts, which is about an American family in Berlin as Hitler and the Nazis dismantle Germany's democracy. It is a history book, but not really related to my research or classes.

Chris: What advice would you offer to someone who was considering a career in academia?

Dr. Shrock: I would urge them to think very carefully about their choices. Academia can be a fantastic career, but there are real trade- offs that should be considered. It takes a great deal of time--are you prepared to lived in relative poverty until your late 20s to early 30s? Job prospects for many fields in the humanities and social sciences are not that good. Pay rates for professors have fallen relative to the other professions over the last 50 years as well. If you really love your discipline then these are all surmountable issues, but I would urge people to think realistically about what they want out of life.

Chris: One of the classes I took from you as an undergrad dealt with Middle East history. 2011 has been a fascinating year in the Middle East. What are your expectations going forward for countries like Egypt and Libya that experienced regime changes?

Dr. Shrock: This is a very difficult question. Both these countries and Syria are excellent examples of the wave of Middle Eastern peoples upset with authoritarian regimes. The 2006 World Gallup Poll demonstrated that the one element that Middle Eastern people most admired about the U.S. was our free political process. Combine this with the fact that a majority of people in most nations of the region are under the age of 45 and you could get sweeping changes. Egypt has a history of reform and attempts to create democracy that have stymied over and over again by an array of social forces and economic issues. Obviously, Libya's freedom is very important to them, and it is an important marker of the wave of democracy sweeping the region. But, Egypt will be the real test case due to its size, power, and prominence. I must be honest, I thought the way violence had escalated and the apparent intransigence of the military would halt political reform in Egypt, but the elections this week have been amazingly peaceful. I am cautiously optimistic!

Chris: Thanks, Dr. Shrock!